


One Step

by SnowyWaffles



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Depression, F/M, Music saved my life, Random Expression, Suicide Attempt, This band has probably saved my life a handful of times, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 08:44:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11688126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowyWaffles/pseuds/SnowyWaffles
Summary: Imagine trying to take your own life when your stopped by Tyler, who manages to talk you down from the ledge.





	One Step

_You were giving up, one step and it would be over._

You didn’t know how much more you could take. A dull ache pulsed through you as if your body was corroding from within. Your hand held your mask to your face as it cracked with every tear that escaped from your eyes. Pieces of the mask chipped off and fell from your face, shattering as they hit the concrete under your feet. You looked down at the waters below you, the dark black waves swirling and crashing against each other. It looked so inviting as you braced your hands on the thick railing and leaned over to get a better view.

The light of the moon reflected off of the waters surface, it had you wondering if you’d ever seen something so beautiful. In this cruel world, nature still remained as it always had. Only now, one had to have a certain darkness to be able to see the stars. Another pulse went through you, the pain enough to force your eyes shut.

You couldn’t do it anymore. Everyday, getting up and pretending that you’re fine to not just everyone, but to yourself as well. No one knew how you felt because you never told them, but you never told anyone because they couldn’t understand. It was killing you. So lost and full of fear every moment of your day, how could you go on knowing that everyday would be the same and only have the chance of getting worse, never better.

You wanted people to see that you weren’t okay, that you weren’t happy when they saw you smiling. You wanted them to know that you hadn’t been happy for a long time. And that the longer you felt like this, the worse it became. You wanted them to understand how hard it actually was to keep pretending that everything was okay, that you were hurting so badly and they couldn’t see that you thought of ending it all every hour of everyday. Because what would they think? They couldn’t understand. No one could ever understand.

You could deal with the physical pain because it was real, but pain on the inside was something else, something dark that always laid under the surface. The physical pain was too superficial, it never lasted long enough to distract you from the pain that never faded or eased. The self-loathing clawed its way up your throat. Ripping and tearing itself from your mouth, all the while your screaming was as silent as your suffering. Suffering that you had to face alone and living with a reminder that you would always be alone with the pain. You were scared, the tears continuing to flow as you tried to argue with yourself mentally. You wanted to give in, let the pain stop. Give into those dark parts of your thoughts.

You took deep breaths, yet it felt like you can’t get any air. Your hands gripped the cold metal of the railing, your foot moving to step in between the grating of the fence so you could lift yourself from the ground.

_This was it._

_You had to do this._

_It’ll be over._

**“Hey! Wait…”**

You turned around, shocked to see a man standing behind you. His pupils were dilated and wide, his hands held out in front of him as he watched you. His hands were black, covered by makeup that was smudged from his fingertips towards his wrists. The same dark makeup was spread along the skin of his neck and under his chin. Something in his appearance clicked with your memory and you knew you had to of been losing your mind. There was no way that _Tyler Joseph_  would be here on this bridge, at this moment, trying to stop you from taking your life.

“You don’t have to do this…” his voice was soft and so caring, the same way that you remembered it sounding like in his songs. For a moment, you felt at peace. You were glad that he was the one you were imagining in this situation.

“I do, but it’s okay…really. After this it’ll be over, so thank you.” Your voice was cracking, your mask had finally broken, shards of emotion falling piece by piece.

“Just come down, talk to me.” His hand remained reached out in your direction and you could see the desperation on his face. Why? Why did he care so much? He didn’t know you, you were a stranger.

“I don’t want to hurt anymore…” the words flowed out of your mouth before you could stop them, the sound of them being brought to life was more painful then you could of ever imagined.

“I know, I…” he hesitated, “I know what you’re going through, but I’m still alive, I’m still here.”

Your eyes softened, “How do you do it?”

“Come down from there and I’ll tell you,” he gave you a warm smile and for a moment, you forgot that you were standing on the railing of a bridge, about to take your own life.

You swallowed slowly and nodded, watching as he slowly got closer. He placed his hands on your waist, helping you down carefully and slowly. You opened your mouth, about to say something when you saw someone running up from behind the two of you.

“Tyler!!”

He turned around, his hands leaving your waist. “Josh?” He answered, his voice sounding tired.

“You can’t just get out of the car and go off running like that,” Josh sighed as he ran a hand through his highlighter yellow hair.

“Sorry, man.”

Josh turned his attention from Tyler to you, the situation confusing him but he shrugged, knowing Tyler would explain later.

“Do you want us to take you home?” Josh suddenly asked.

Your eyes widened and you could feel water pooling in them as you thought about going home. “N-No, please anywhere but there…”

You felt Tyler’s hand touch your arm, smoothing it over the length of it in a comforting manner. “Then you’re coming back us then,” He said with a smile.

* * *

The ride to the hotel was quiet, but not awkward. Tyler and Josh had just talked amongst themselves as you stared out the window, trying to convince yourself that all of this was real, that you were still alive, that you hadn’t jumped.

“I’ll make some tea,” Tyler suddenly said, moving into the kitchen.

You walked over to the windows, marveling in the amazing view. Josh had followed you, wanting to speak to you for a little while longer.

“You know, I’ve never seen Tyler do that before.”

“Do what?” You looked at him.

“We were driving back from the concert, he was staring out the window, like a sad little boy staring in his own movie. He always does that,” Josh laughed before he continued. “But suddenly he yelled for the driver to stop and before I could ask him what he was doing or what was wrong, he said that someone needed help. After that, he got out of the car and went running back in the direction we’d come from.”

Your looked towards Tyler, your heart ached at the face that his guy had gone running to you, a stranger, just so he could save your life. “But I’m sure you guys got stuff to talk about, so I’ll leave you guys to it.” He rustled the top of your head before leaving room.

You looked back to the window, allowing yourself to disappear for a moment. You weren’t sure how long you’d been standing there until Tyler had appeared beside you, cup of tea in hand.

“You okay?” He asked, immediately regretting the question. “I mean, well, besides all that. Sorry.”

You were silent for a moment before you nodded. “I think so, thank you for the tea.”

He smiled softly at you before he went and got a large black case. You watched him as he started to assemble what looked like a keyboard. “What are you doing?” You asked, taking sips of your tea as you eyed him.

“Well,” he sighed. “They wouldn’t let me have a grand piano in the hotel so this is my only alternative.” He held a boyish smile as his fingers grazed along the keys. “I put up one hell of a fight though.”

You couldn’t help but smile, “Are you going to play something for me?”

He looked to you, giving you a sly smirk as he nodded. He could see the darkness inside your eyes and the pain that lurked under them. Pain and darkness that he was far too familiar with. He knew the pain didn’t go away but it could be lessen, forgotten for a time if you allowed it to fade away. He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply before placing his fingers against the keys. He knew you were watching intently, waiting for him to give you a reason to keep going, a reason to stay in this cruel world.

The soft melody played out from the piano, filling the quiet space of the room. You recognized the song pretty quickly, a small smile tugging against the sides of your mouth. As soon as he started to sing, it felt like there was a weight that was removed from you.

_“Take pride in what is sure…to die…”_

You walked over to him, taking a seat next to him on the couch. “Can you teach me?”

He nodded and started to show you some of the keys. He took your hand, moving it on top of the keys and placing his own hand on top of yours to guide your fingers. He told you about how he taught himself to play, starting with the black keys because it was easier.

“Tyler, why don’t you like to talk about the meaning of your songs?” You suddenly asked. You could tell it’d thrown him off because his smile faltered for a moment.

“It’s my way of staying alive, my purpose. My words and thoughts, translate into my music. If I told people the meaning of them, the deeper real meaning of them, then they wouldn’t need me anymore because they would have the answers. I’d lose my purpose.”

“A kitchen sink to you, is not a kitchen sink to me?” You recited.

He smiled, “exactly.”

“Sneaky, but if I’m honest with you. You wouldn’t lose your purpose, Tyler. Your music is an outlet for those who can’t find songs that talk about the things songs shouldn’t talk about. If you were gone, then those songs would be gone too.”

“What about you?” He asked.

“You’re music helped me a lot-”

“But not enough to stop you from trying to end it all,” he said bitterly before you could finish, his anger placed towards himself rather then you.

“You did.”

“What?”

You reached out and touched his hand. “You saved my life, you did, not your music. You stopped me from jumping, you got me to step down from that ledge.”

Before he could say anything else, you had your arms wrapped around neck, hugging him tightly. “Thank you, Tyler…”

His eyes went wide, “You don’t have to thank me.”

“Yes I do, because you need to hear it, even if you don’t realize it yet. And if you ever need someone to talk to, or someone just to listen to rant to, I’m here.”

* * *

It’d been a few weeks since everything had happened and you were trying to live life to the fullest. The pain was still there but the rotting had stopped. Tyler and Josh had forced you to take their numbers so if the feelings ever resurfaced then you’d have someone to talk to. You smiled every time you thought about it. One act of kindness had saved your life and gave you a chance to change your outlook on life.

You laid in bed, music flowing through your headphones into your ears. Your phone lit up the dark room, making you sit up to pick it up. You tugged the headphones from your ears and held the phone against your ear.

“Hello,” you answered, not thinking much about it until you heard his voice from the other side of the phone.

_“Hey, (Y/n). Do you have time to talk?”_


End file.
